The ABCs of Naruto Uzumaki
by RuneYue
Summary: Twenty-six stories, one for each letter of the alphabet, centering around the number one unpredictable ninja; Naruto Uzumaki! Various parings, themes and genres may apply.
1. Affect

**Title:** Affect**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters: **Naruto, Hinata, minor mentions of various others.**  
Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns Naruto...and I don't think he's sharing.**  
Rating:** T or PG-13, just to be safe.**  
Dedication:** All the sane Naruto fans out there! Without your wonderful attempts at intelligent fanfiction, tons of us would be bored out of our friggin' minds!**  
Summary:** Naruto takes a moment to reflect upon emotions.

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Words never could truly describe feelings properly, he mused.

He, the one and only Naruto Uzumaki, unpredictable ninja extraordinaire, was feeling an emotion that he could not properly define. Sure, the blonde knew he wasn't the smartest ninja of his generation but he had, at the very least, some semblance of intelligence. How else would he be able to describe his success in missions and ability to stay alive in a village full of hateful-damn-near-murderous individuals?

Okay, so maybe, _maybe _Chance and Lady Luck had something to do with it, but they had never show their faces to him so he wasn't going to acknowledge them until properly introduced.

Insanity may of held a small role, but Naruto hadn't met Gaara way back then so he was quite sure that wasn't it.

This feeling, this _important_ feeling - he knew it was important and that word was sufficient enough in typing and categorizing emotions at the very least - was unlike any he had ever experienced.

Part of this emotion reminded him of the feeling when he first became a genin. He was excited then since he was finally a real and official shinobi, but also upset because he had to be on a team with the _asshole-who-shall-not-be-named-who-probably-also-kicked-puppies-in-his-spare-time _and happy because he was on a team with Sakura-chan, who he was absolutely sure did not kick puppies in her spare time.

But that was not the only memory that this emotion reminded him of. It reminded him of those times when he was younger and skipped classes at the Academy with Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji. It was another exciting time, but more so because of the fact that the excitement he was experiencing had something to do with his adrenaline pumping and he was with friends - real friends!

That was a special feeling all on it's own, but that had a name - _Friendship_ - which suited it just fine.

His class skipping days were also kind of scary because Iruka-sensei was incredibly sneaky, far much more sneaky than regular shinobi practices should of allowed a man of Chuunin status, and always caught them all _every. Single. Time_!

Not to mention that he was almost always annoyed afterwards, because really, no one in the village could seem to take a good prank nor respect the planning and creativity that went into it. Nor did they ever share his opinion of the fact that a lot of buildings were so much more improved with a fresh coat of paint!

With a slight curse under his breath, Naruto wondered if their was every going to be a proper term for this emotion he was feeling.

A knock sounded from his office door.

"Naruto-kun?"

He turned his seat around and glanced upwards. A smile repleased his previous emotion, whatever it was, as relief flowed through his veins at the lovely sight in front of him.

"Hey Hinata-chan!"

The long haired bluenette smiled that wonderfully calming smile of hers and crossed the room quickly to give him a slightly tense hug. He could feel some of the tension she had been carrying release with the contact.

"You said it was really important, Naruto-kun.",she stated softly as he broke contact and gently held her hand.

"Well, I kind of wanted to ask you something, Hinata-chan... Something_ important_."

No, words could never really describe emotions properly, but, then again, this emotion that he was currently feeling was so special that maybe it could never be correctly named. Just categorized as a very, very important one.

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One down, twenty-five more to go! Thank you for reading and please feel free to review.


	2. Blue

**Title:** Blue**  
Series:** Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and Hinata, sitting in a tree~ F-R-E-N-C--- /shot/**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto, Hinata and the entire wonderful series belongs to Kishimoto-sensei.**  
Rating:** T or PG-13, just to be safe.**  
Dedication:** NaruHina shippers. Damn, did it ever take long enough to hear a confession out of the girl!**  
Summary:** Naruto sees the colour blue in a whole new light.

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Blue.

Her chakra was blue. Much lighter than her hair, but just as intense. Almost as intense as his own chakra, but not yet as much as his Rasengan. It was close though. Oh, was it _close_!

The first time he had seen his Blue Goddess had been many, many years before. During the Bikochu mission, a mission to find a beetle that could track the teme, he left camp to relieve himself in the middle of the night and came across a waterfall where a glowing naked and definitely _female_ figure was dancing. Still sleepy and not anywhere near as alert as he should of been, something he himself - alcohol free - would never ever admit aloud in the company of others, he slipped and fell at the sight of her and splashed around in wonder, yelling out to nothing. Hormones, he supposed, could take the blame. After all, it wasn't every single day, or night to be exact, that one was able to view a _naked_ goddess.

He cursed himself frequently in the years that passed that he hadn't taken the time that night to fully search her out. Sure, he had seen her several times since the first occurrence, but this was the closest he had ever gotten to her and the first time he had seen her in many months. He wasn't about to miss this opportunity. Licking his lips hungrily, almost able to taste her chakra, Naruto quietly moved forward. She had yet to notice him as she twirled about, sending gentle waves splashing about to the lake's shore.

The manner in which she used her chakra never ceased to amaze him! She wielded it in ways that he could only dream, even years of training would never allow him to be that graceful. The chakra of his Blue Goddess highlighted her curves and meshed with her body in a strong, calming glow. It infused the water she stood upon, wisped around her like the wind, strong yet gentle, and struck with such a deadly precision that any weapons master would find themselves jealous of.

It was breathtaking, to say the least. Anyone who witnessed it would be in awe, falling over themselves to get a better look and bask in her essence. Somehow, that thought made his insides twitch and bind in an uncomfortable pinch. He didn't want them to see! They weren't _worthy _of his Blue Goddess!

Growling softly under his breath as thoughts of others entered his mind, he crouched lower and moved forward once more.

_**Snap!**_

A twig broke beneath his feet and he silently cursed, glancing down at the broken fragments of wood. So much for super stealthy shinobi skills. Another not-so-silent curse permeated the now stilled air as all warmth left his body and the night grew dim, now minus a bright blue. The warm glow of chakra had vanished as did his Blue Goddess.

Deeply disappointed at the important missed opportunity to meet his Blue Goddess, Naruto Uzumaki picked himself up from the forest floor and made his way back towards the temporary camp he and the other ANBU had set up for the night. Maybe Hinata would have some ideas about how to find her. She was a girl and kind of a Goddess in her own right, after all.

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Oh, Naruto. You are so lovably _dense_.

Thanks you for reading! Reviews are always encouraged!


	3. Courage

**Title:** Courage**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto**  
Disclaimer:** The entire series of Naruto, even the disgusting villagers full of hate and stupidity, belong to Kishimoto. He can keep them, but I want to adopt Naruto!**  
Rating/Warnings:** T for language, mild abuse of a child.**  
Dedication:** Chibi Naruto. Because he needs a hug! T-T**  
Summary:** _Chibi Naruto ponders on courageous acts._

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It took a lot of courage, he sometimes thought, to do the things that he did. At least, that's what people said when they thought he couldn't hear them.

Or when they knew he was listening.

He wasn't quite sure which it was, since most of the adults who said that stuff were ninjas and ninjas had to be sneaky enough to know he was listening, didn't they? He thought so and, for the time being, that was all that mattered.

_"That kid's got guts to do what sort of stuff to the Hokage Monument!"_

_"Little brat doesn't know when to stop! Does he even think?!"_

_"Dammit, that crazy little shit keeps going against a bunch of guards! Breaks all the rules!"_

_"Someone's gonna kill him one of these days if he keeps that up!"_

_"N-now, are you sure Naruto did that? I mean, I know he's pretty brave for a kid---"_

_"Stupid more like it! That kid is so dense he doesn't know what fear is!"_

Sometimes, Naruto thought that they were warning him with their harsh whispers and gossip. Maybe they cared. But then he did something like try to buy food and get chased out of the store with a broom and the idea fell apart.

Adults, he thought, were stupid.

And mean.

At least that's how it seemed the more he thought about what they said. He wasn't courageous. He wasn't brave. It didn't take guts to pain a monument from top to bottom in neon pink paint. All it took was a some paint, occasionally a paint brush - but that was just for the details, really -, waiting until the guards on duty took a their regularly scheduled break and maybe some rope.

All in all, it wasn't guts. It was timing. And creativity. He had a lot of that.

If he had to be honest with himself, Naruto Uzumaki wasn't courageous.

He was just lonely, often scared, and always just trying to survive in a world where he was all alone.

But if people were going to give him praise, even in the form of insults, he certainly wasn't going to deny it. It took too much courage to tell them differently.

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Thank you for reading. Please review if you're up to it!


	4. Dreams

**Title:** Dreams**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and Hinata**  
Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns Naruto, the series, and therefore all the characters within. I may or may not be in the possession of several plushies and this story.**  
Rating/Warnings:** PG-13 or T.**  
Dedication:** The villagers who abused Naruto. SUCK IT! HE SAVED KONOHA FOR YOU!**  
Summary:** _Naruto had to be dreaming. Stuff like this never happened in real life to him!_ Ties in with Chapter 1: Affect.

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He had to be dreaming. Life just wasn't this good! _Never_ was it this good to him, at the very least.

Sure, Naruto had luck when it came to gambling and more often than not, in fights, but in normal every day life? Not so much.

As a child, he had no parents. No mother to come home to with a good grade in hand. No mother to kiss his injuries from general child-like activities. No mother to cook up a good dinner or make sure he had a great lunch for whatever came his way during the day. No father to take him to the park to play with other kids. No father to teach him how to be a ninja with stealth activities or kunai training. No father to tell him super scary or awe inspiring stories before sleep claimed his little body for the night.

He had little to no friends as a child, if he was to be honest with himself. No one wanted to play with him after school or throw a ball to him at the park - to not at. No one who's house he could go over to or play in the rain with when it wasn't coming down too hard or lightning.

He didn't even have much eat, growing up. Ramen from Ichiraku's or nearly, often completely, expired vegetables from the market that no one else wanted. If he was quick enough and had a hat on, he could get his little hands on some boxes of instant ramen and pay for them in the middle of a rush before anyone noticed who he was.

More often than not though, he had to survive on mushy fruits and bad milk or water, because there was no way he was going near a _vegetable_. He was never that _desperate_.

Even during his classes at the academy, he had had no luck to speak of at all. His luck definitely couldn't be considered bad, it was so horrible. His grades were dismal, at best. His classmates never wanted to study with him or pair up with him during outdoor lessons. His teachers never explained things to him and, to top it off, the _teme_ always seemed to be rubbing his status in his face!

After the academy he had been granted a team with a lazy Sensei who never taught him anything, the _teme_ of all people and...well, Sakura-chan was a blessing, after the punching - which he admitted he did deserve _sometimes_ - but that wasn't luck. That was the academic standards of him being one of the lowest graded students in years and the tradition of good genin having to be paired up with the ones that just plain sucked at nearly everything shinobi.

He only ever had dreams of all the good stuff as a kid, but never the luck to actually have it for real. Now, however...

"W-what did you say?",he stuttered, not believing his ears.

"Yes, Naruto-kun.",came the soft reply, delight laced through excited tone of the Hyuuga heiress. "Yes, I'll marry you!"

He had to be dreaming. Life just never got this good for him.

Ten minutes later, when the blonde Hokage came up for air, he decided that maybe, just maybe, sometimes dreams did come true.

And if they didn't? Well, he was just never going to wake up from this!

"Na-Naruto, don't slice it apart!"

"But the clasp won't work!"

Even if it did turn into a nightmare at some parts.

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Ahahaha! And you thought you were going to get a drabble without some sort of immature humour? Shame!

Reviews are loved.


	5. Everything

**Title:** Everything**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-sensei.**  
Rating/Warnings:** K, K+ if we're going to be safe on the implications of exactly what it takes to protect what is yours.**  
Dedication:** The future of the Naruto world. Here's hoping someone get's a lucky break _somewhere_...**  
Summary:** _Everything can be seen differently from many different directions._

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Everyone see's everything differently, Naruto mused one morning.

For some, like shinobi, it was a matter of life or death while for others it was their livelihood, but it was always, no matter who you were, your very being and survival all in all.

Where some people saw a village, he saw a home. A place filled with people from all over the world, of all different strengths and talents. From as far as Konoha to Suna, Kiri, Kumo and back, so many people seeking refuge and happiness had tried their damnedest to make their village a safe and secure home and it was. It was _their_ everything.

While some people saw a simple tree, he saw a silent life holding many mysteries and answers. Young genin might see it as an obstacle or target, animals might see it as shelter and others yet, hope. Some food, some fun, some_ their _everything.

A small yawn caught his ears as he put down his tea and, in several large steps, strode on over to the crib in the corner of his bedroom.

"Morning, Hime-chan!",he cooed, holding out his arms to his baby girl. She squealed happily in response, greedily holding open her arms for him to pick her up and so began the ever challenging task of keeping her entertained until either sleep or sleep inducing herbs claimed her for nap time.

His earlier thoughts briefly entered his mind as he wondered what his new baby - his little princess - thought of him, would think of him in the future and would see the world as, with her very own eyes.

"Dada!",she yelled and suddenly nothing else mattered. For here in his own very arms was _his_ everything and he had no intention of ever letting go.

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Short chapter is extremely short. Thank you for reading, and if you are able, reviewing.

Resubmitted to fix a rather small redundancy of lines.


	6. Failure

**Title:** Failure**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto, Gaara**  
Disclaimer:** The series entitled Naruto, as well as all of the characters within, belong soley to Kishimoto.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13, to play it safe.**  
Dedication:** Any who have had to deal with verbal abuse and kicked it's arse!**  
Summary:** _Verbal absuse; he hates it more than anything._

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Failure.

He hated that word with a passion. If anyone had a reason to hate that word, it was him.

He, Naruto Uzumaki, one of the few powerful and great enough to have been given the title Hokage, had been called it often enough through his entire life to be absolutely justified in his particular negative emotions towards that word.

It wasn't just the word, mind you, it was the meaning behind it. The sneers and evil spirited jokes one was constantly on the receiving end of when labeled as such. The way others looked at you when they knew you as such a label, the way they ignored you when you generally needed something, the way all the air seemed to be sucked out of your soul upon being called such a word, no matter how often it had happened before hand; it was all too horrible an experience and deserving of such a hatred.

There were very few in the world he would ever wish the sentiment upon.

"You failures!"

Naruto shuddered and time seemed to stand still.

Of course, being the Hokage, that word wasn't aimed at him - this time - but at someone else. It still didn't cease the chill that ran down his spine at hearing such the label uttered.

Sweeping his eyes in the direction of the yelling, Naruto's brows became knit in anger as a frown marred his usually chipper expression.

A foreign Jounin from Suna was currently berating the genin team he was leading.

"Every single one of you are a disappointment to that head band you were given!",he continued in a rage, working himself up pretty well. The young ninja before him had the skill to completely mask their emotions perfectly, but once look at the way they carried themselves and anyone with proper training could tell the scars they carried.

Naruto couldn't stop the growl that came from underneath his breath. He had been to Suna plenty of times, as a young ninja, Hokage and always a guest of the current Kazekage. He had never, not once, seen anyone treat their comrades with such disdain while there. They, Sunagakure, were always a rather tight knit and loving village, despite the radical difference in landscape and location.

Leaning back slightly, the blonde prepared to rush forward, aiming to 'accidentally' slam the elder Suna shinobi into a few trees or maybe just down into the ground a few hundred feet. A split second before he launched himself, Naruto felt a gentle yet firm grasp upon his shoulder. He visibly relaxed as time one again continued on it's forward path.

"Gaara",he acknowledged the other's presence.

"Naruto.",the red haired Kazekage replied.

"FAILURES!",the Jounin continued to rant.

The two Kage's glanced at each other, expressions similarly - if not scarily - upset, before swiftly making their way towards the irate Jounin, cloaks bellowing behind them in their wisps of raging chakra for massive dramatic effect. Before the day's end, Naruto was sure at least one other would have a reason to hate the word "failure" as well.

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Failure is a rather icky word, in my not-so-humble opinion. Eh... I promise the next few drabbles in this series should be much better.

Thank you for reading. Reviews are always appreciated.


	7. Green

**Title:** Green**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto x Sakura**  
Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns Naruto, Sakura and the village they happily live in. I own this story detailing as such.**  
Rating/Warnings:** K or G**  
Dedication:** All the NaruSaku fans out there. Enjoy!**  
Summary:** _He sees her everywhere._

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Everywhere he turned in his fauna covered village, he saw her.

He saw her hair in the pink of the petals, entire body in the strength of the trees that refused to do little other than sway at the wind's strong breeze and, most noticably, her eyes in the green of the leaves.

It's not just the green of the plants that remind him of her though, it's the green everywhere.

When he sees the villagers, walking and going about their daily lives, some sad, some happy, all alive, he sees her. Her gentle glowing green hands, calmly covering their bodies as injuries become nothing more than a memory and, hopefully, a learning experience.

One of his shinobi assistants, a newly appointed green-haired chuunin she trained, comes in to hand him yet more paperwork and he sees her in him too. He sees her smile as she holds his young hand in her own healing grasp and tells him that it's okay to mess up, so as long as he learned what he did wrong and to always keep his mind on what is most precious to him in life.

When the paperwork comes to an end, whether it's done for the day or he has conveniently pushed it aside - more than likely into a drawer to be locked for what he hopes is forever - and it's time to make his way home past his favourite ramen stand, he sees her from the back sitting on top of one of the new green stools. She is always sitting at between him and the teme, and always laughing that amazing laugh of her's or scolding he himself for eating too fast and choking.

As he nears his home, he sees her there too. Only this time it's for real and he can not only see her, but hear her voice and feel her presence as well.

She's laughing her soft melodic laughter on the front grassy green lawn, watching as their three young children laugh their own sweet laughter so similar to her own, yell their own little pink and blonde covered heads off at winning in whichever game they had more recently invented and search around wildly with the brilliant emerald eyes - which they all took after her - for the mysterious prize.

He sees her finally notice his presence and her beautiful green eyes light up at the sight that he is finally home and in the knowledge that he will belong to just the four of them for the rest of the evening. He sees her stand up and wave, calling his name as she rushes over to him and envelopes him in that strong yet gentle caress only she seems capable of. He tilts her head up and gives her a gentle kiss as he stares into her happily closing eyes as their children notice that Daddy is in fact home too and rush him just as fast and as strong as she did.

He knows that after dinner, when all of them are nodding off to sleep, he'll see her in his dreams too. Those lovely green eyes that make everything worth while.

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The fluff. It kills. /choke/

Ahaha! I had to write a NaruSaku fic sometime, though... Hope you enjoyed the read and thank you once again! Feel free to review if you're up to it!


	8. Health

**Title:** Health**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto x Sakura**  
Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns the characters, I own this particular story.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T to PG-13 for language.**  
Dedication:** Again, all the NaruSaku fans out there!**  
Summary:** _Naruto was never going to answer any of Sakura's questions, ever again._

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It started out as an innocent question, then lead to a series of scary interrogations and now here he was, stuck in a boring, cold hospital room.

_Joy._

All because he had sneezed. And was running a slight fever. And _maybe_ he had fainted, _once_. To be fair, anyone who saw_ that _particular new technique of Konohamaru's would of fainted, no matter who their sensei was or what they had been previously exposed to.

Naruto glanced to the right of him, out the window and wondered just how far he could get before either Sakura or Tsunade chased him down and knocked him unconscious. Not very far, he mused. Even less so if they both decided to be the ones to drag his ass back there.

Who was to say, anyway, that they would be merciful enough to just knock him unconscious? They could lecture him into a coma or perform some complicated medical jutsu - one that he _knew_ that they just had to know, even if he had no reasonable non-fever-delusional proof - that kept him awake while medical students practiced upon a living dummy.

He shuddered and he wasn't sure if it was because the hospital room was colder than the Land of Snow, he was in fact quite sick or the idea of being the cause of a joint Sakura and Tsunade wrath was too scary for an adequate description.

How did he even know that word? Adequate. It sounded like some sort of water bird. Heh, quack.

Naruto began to chuckle, then laugh all the way into a self induced coughing fit.

"Honestly, Naruto!",Sakura chided as she came into the room, holding a pitcher of water in one hand and a plastic cup in another. She was dressed in her usual doctor attire, the civilian kind that was grossly impractical for an impromptu battle but incredibly comfortable and easy to remove - or so he had heard Ino say while flirting with a red faced Shikamaru and equally red faced, though for a good deal many _different_ reasons, Temari. The resulting fight had actually proved just how easy to remove the clothes had been.

As Sakura poured him a cup of water, he took a moment to not-quite-subtly take her apparel into review. As any good shinobi should, really, even those who were sick.

A form fitting white scrub shirt, one that was see-through when the light hit them in just the right spot - yeah, that was conductive to getting one's heart rate up! -, a black knee-length skirt that was equally as form fitting, a long lab coat and black high-heels. Her hair, silky and healthy unlike his own flat and sweaty locks, was sloppily tied up in a loose bun, strands framing her face in a casual elegant manner.

He took the cup of water greedily, eyes never leaving Sakura's face as she flicked a thermometer on and moved forward to take his temperature.

"You've got to take better care of your health.",she began in a patient voice, sitting upon his bedside. "It's an important part of being a good ninja, don't you know?"

Naruto grinned, the happiest he had been since he was dragged into this cold, forsaken, not to mention _boring_, room.

"But that's what I have you for, Sakura-chan!"

She rolled her eyes in exasperation at that statement and leaned forward with the thermometer still in hand. As she did so, Naruto gently lifted his hand to move a stray strand of hair out of her face. Only, he had forgotten to use the hand that was not holding his cup and only succeeded in pouring the ice cold beverage onto her shirt.

"Naruto!",she screeched, jumping up now quite soaking wet. Her lacy bra was now showing up through the now semi-transparent material. The resounding smack echoed through out the entirety of the hospital.

Naruto was never, ever going to answer any more of Sakura's questions. Ever again. It was too dangerous for his health.

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Whoops! That was _almost_ kind of sweet, huh folks?

Thanks for reading and feel free to review!


	9. Ice

**Title:** Ice**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto x Haku**  
Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns all, except for this particular story.**  
Rating/Warnings:** PG-13 or T. Please take note that this is an AU (alternate universe) story.  
**Dedication:** This is for those who are aware that Haku actually has the body parts of a _guy_. I might possibly love you guys. A lot.  
**Summary:** _Naruto wakes up with a definite temperature change._

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It was cold.

It was bleak.

It was _terrifying_.

For one split second, Naruto Uzumaki felt as if all of his senses had left him in a world of nothingingness, except for the ice. He was standing upon it, surrounded by it. It was even falling from the sky.

He would've taken the time to stare in awe at the many pieces of ice that fell, except for the fact that it was _ice_ falling from the _sky_ and it _hurt_. A lot. His head hurt, too. But so far he had been shielding his head, so why should it of hurt? It didn't make sense. At least, not any more sense than suddenly waking up in some sort of freaky cold ice world and having to run to who-knows-where for shelter.

_"Naruto..."_

He suddenly stopped running and stood quite still, almost frozen. The irony was not lost on the blond prankster's pounding head, nor was the ice. But for some reason, he couldn't move. There was a voice calling out to him and he wanted to answer.

_"Naruto..."_

There it was! That voice! That warm, soothing voice that belonged... it belonged... Huh. He didn't know who it belonged to, but it was quite familiar. More ice continued to pound down, but still he couldn't move. Somehow he knew, even as more, larger pieces of ice began to fall, that the voice meant more to him than a headache, than even his life.

_"Naruto, wake up!"_

There it was again. Not as calm as before, however. The voice sounded distressed. Worried. Scared. He wanted to go to it now more than ever. He wanted to comfort the one who belonged to that voice. To hold them, to make things all right. He wanted out of this ice and he wanted out now!

_"NARUTO!"_

"Argh!",Naruto shot up and out of bed, falling upon the one person who had been calling his voice. The only person who could of had a voice like that, his boyfriend Haku.

"Ow...",Haku moaned, holding his own pounding head as he shifted uncomfortably against the floor, Naruto still on top of him. Oblivious to his boyfriend's current pain, Naruto snuggled up closer to him as if his life depended on it. Mere moments ago, it almost had.

"It's you! It's you!",he cheered, loosening his hold if only to touch his boyfriend everywhere in reassurance that he was no longer stuck in that horrible ice world where Haku didn't exist. "And you're warm!"

Haku blinked, glancing down at the scene he was currently wrapped up in. "Why wouldn't I be warm?",he asked, a blush quickly spreading across his face as Naruto's hands moved lower. "H-hey!"

Suddenly, Naruto paused and slowly yanked himself back a few inches into a sitting position. His face lost it's previous cheerful expression as his headache made itself known with gusto. He recalled the chill of that ice world, the nothingness, the loneliness, the no-warm-boyfriend-ness.

A frown began to mar his face. "You weren't there with me.",he pouted.

"I wasn't where? I've been with you, _worried_ I might add, the entire time since you got drunk at the club last night and hit your head on the ice machine behind the bar.",Haku asked, sitting up himself in effort to regain some composure and a touch of indignation at the fact that his previously unconscious boyfriend was currently scolding _him_ when he had been the one up and worried the entire damn night.

"Ice...machine?",Naruto replied as memories of his previous night's debauchery flooded back into his mind. He remembered drinking, dancing with Haku, dancing with Sai, more drinking, something about a ramen bunny girl - whatever that was -, more dancing with Haku, more drinking, more Haku - this time they weren't dancing -, another drink and something with Sai and a...

Naruto paled. His throbbing head suddenly made much more sense.

Haku chuckled at the blonde's expression, all annoyance forgotten, and leaned forward seductively. "So, where did you learn that little trick you did with Sai last night?"

Naruto muttered something unintelligible before running off in search of a nice, cold shower. Maybe, if he was lucky, the water would freeze up and falling ice would knock him unconscious or at least into a similar world where no one had ever seen his more than capable ingenuity with every day kitchen utensils.

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I'm a horrible, horrible person and you're _welcome_.

Thanks for reading, please review if you're up for it!


	10. Jealous

**Title:** Jealous**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto, Sasuke**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto and Sasuke belong to Kishimoto.**  
Rating/Warnings:** PG-13 or T. Mainly for language.**  
Dedication:** The Naruto fangirls and fanboys!**  
Summary:** _Naruto isn't too thrilled with Sasuke._

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Naruto could never explain it. He never knew why he felt those awkward feelings towards the last Uchiha, he just knew that they felt right, for some reason. Even if they didn't feel all together good.

There he was, the last of his clan, a lonely orphan just like Naruto, with no one to call a friend or family. However, unlike Naruto, the uppity asshole had the _option_ to call people his friends and family.

Sasuke Uchiha had tens upon hundreds upon thousands - well, _probably_ thousands. Really, Naruto never liked to count higher than was absolutely necessary and counting into the thousands was rarely ever necessary, especially when it concerned the teme - of all kinds of people from all areas of the world - some he couldn't even pronounce, let alone spell! - all vying for his affection, some even sincerely so.

But did Sasuke ever give them the time of day?

Hell no!

_Stupid bastard._

It annoyed Naruto to constantly see Sasuke ignore the many people who wanted to know him, wanted to play with him, wanted to train with him, wanted to sit next to him, wanted to just say "hello" to him, wanted him to look somewhere in the vicinity of where they were standing or possible were standing mere moments ago, because _OHMYGOSH! That would be the best thing ever!_

Really, the entire way people seemed to worship the teme made him sick.

And sad, if Naruto was to ever give these feelings more thought - not as much as the blonde put into his pranks or the new flavour of ramen, but some.

Naruto was an orphan, a lonely one at that, with no one to speak of as friend nor family. He never had anyone who wanted to know him, wanted to sit next to him, wanted to play or train or even just look in his direction! Sure, some people looked in his direction, but soon after also looked like they had just drank an entire carton of spoiled milk.

The teme had hundreds, possibly thousands, of people who wanted to be his friend, who wanted to spend time with him, who wanted to talk to him. Naruto could name the amount of people who didn't sneer at him on one hand, let alone those who might have no problem with living in the same village as him, while Sasuke probably couldn't even count as high for the same.

And it made him sick.

Sick to think about. Sick to see. Sick to--

"Sasuke-kun! Here!",a girl from one of the lower classes called out in a rather obnoxious tone. She was standing in front of Sasuke's seat, thrusting something in front of him that looked suspiciously like a boxed lunch.

Another girl soon appeared at Sasuke's side holding a boxed lunch of her own. "Here, Sasuke! Take mine!",she too squealed, her voice, if possible, even more loud and annoying.

Sasuke looked somewhat alarmed at the growing rate of girls surrounding him with seemingly no way out.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Sasuke!"

"Here Sasuke!"

"I love you, Sasuke!"

"Sasuke-kun, I made your favourite!"

"Sasukeeee!"

As the Uchiha heir continued to be swarmed by squealing fangirls from all classes - was that one even a student here? Didn't the blonde graduate already? -, Naruto couldn't help but grin and feel that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't _completely_ jealous of the teme after all.

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Academy!Naruto is a _riot_. I could never understand how...vicious, some fans get. Was at my old job the other day for a goodbye party and several girls came in and acted, well, rabid in a realllly scary sense. I thought my old AM was going to beat them out of the store with a stick or something.

Anyways, thanks for reading and feel free to review!


	11. Kiss

**Title:** Kiss**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and Hinata.**  
Disclaimer:** The couple and series which they come from belong to Kishimoto.**  
Rating/Warnings:** K+. Full of fluff!**  
Dedication:** The NaruHina fans, once again!**  
Summary:** _Naruto enjoys the best day of his life, so far._ Ties in with Chapter 1: Affect and Chapter 4: Dreams.

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It was the best day of his life.

So far.

In truth, he didn't know if life could get at all better than when she had kissed _him_, Naruto Uzumaki, one of the dead last genin rank shinobi to of ever graduate from the academy, in front of everyone gathered before them. When Hinata had kissed him she had sealed their promise and fate, of her very own volition, and proclaimed to all who had bear witness that she was now Hinata Hyuuga-Uzumaki, wife of Naruto Uzumaki, forever and ever, as long as they both shall live.

Which, if he had anything to say about it, would be for an extremely long time.

Of course, Naruto had known for many years, ever since they had shared their first kiss right after his defeat of the shadow leader of Akatsuki, Pein, that not only was she his, but he would always be her's.

The first kiss they had shared had been fueled by adrenaline, yet still as magical as could ever be described. It seemed as if once their lips touched sparks had flown about the two, melding their individual chakra paths and patterns into one singular power such as if they truly were united into one. Nothing else mattered, not the celebrating masses of shinobi, not the air they breathed, not eventhe flow of time itself! During that moment it was just them. Hinata and Naruto. Together.

And then the moment had all too quickly ended. Work was to be done. Different directions to go forth and follow, different missions to uptake and complete. Fortunately, each mission ended at the exact same place; Konohagakure. Home. A place where they would once again meet and more than once again kiss, each new touch much more magical than the last.

It was inevitable - destiny, to quote Neji - that they would be together here on this day, side by side, arm in arm, hand in hand, husband and wife, sharing a new beginning of kisses with forever more to come.

Then again, destiny had owed them one. This was quite the good start.

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Haha! I bet some people were missing the NaruHina one shots, eh? It's been since... Chapter Four? Dang! Well, here you go, folks! It would've been up sooner, but for some reason FFN was not accepting any of my files for upload. /sadface/

Regardless, hope you enjoy the read and please feel free to review!


	12. Last

**Title:** Last**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and many others in passing.**  
Disclaimer:** All within, other than the story, belongs to Kishimoto.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13.**  
Dedication:** Those who like the angsty/dark fics.**  
Summary:** _Like they had always said, he was last._

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It took a few minutes for the shock to settle and reality to kick in. The grief was overwhelming.

As a child, when they all called him dead last, he was pretty sure that none of them knew they were going to be fulfilling a prophecy. Heck, other than Ino - who never called him dead last, just an idiot, thank you - he wasn't sure if any of them actually had any sort of psychic abilities what-so-ever. Not even Shikamaru, one of the smartest shinobi he had ever met and worked with, could of called it any better.

He, Naruto Uzumaki, was the last shinobi of Konohagakure alive.

He had watched many die in the final battle between Sasuke and himself. Shino, Sai, Yamato-sensei... So many good shinobi, so many lives lost to the monstrosity that was greed and it's own making.

He had watched his friends slowly pass away over the coming years. Sakura had gone first once the war was over and after that, many others as well. Without her steadfast, unique healing abilities the poor unfortunate souls were left to suffer.

He had held his wife of many years, Hinata, in his arms as she finally succumbed to the inoperable pain that last war had caused her so deeply.

He had been there for each one. Watching as fading fragments of their fiery, willful souls slowly left their already cold bodies. He had buried them all, the greatest of the great, the last amazing souls alive, possibly to brilliant for the world they inhabited, to finally find peace in the next life and never have the ones they left behind haunt them - or him, or others - with any technique as or far worse than the snake bastard's resurrection jutsu.

Of course, they would always haunt him. He had loved them, after all.

Sometimes, in these darker times when the wind blew with such nostalgia, he really hated the whole bonded with Kyuubi situation even more than the damn fox did him. Immortality was a rather horrible thing to live with.

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Taking you back a bit from the happy V-day fics with something that's a bit darker than my usual stuff.

All the same, I hope you enjoy the read and feel free to review!


	13. Myth

**Title:** Myth**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Minato, Gaara, Sakura, Sasuke, Yamato and Sai.**  
Disclaimer:** All within, other than the story, belongs to Kishimoto.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13.**  
Dedication:** Those for who Naruto will never die.**  
Summary:** _He knew all about myths and legends. They surrounded him, after all._ Slight tie in with Chapter 12; Last._  
_

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Naruto Uzumaki knew about myths and legends. They had surrounded his life, after all.

His godfather was one of the three Legendary Sannin known as Jiraiya, the Toad Sage. He was just as powerful as any Kage known, more so than most, one of the few to ever be able to use Senjutsu and to ever successfully sign the summoning toad contract. He was trained by the Third Hokage, trained the Fourth Hokage and trained with the Fifth Hokage as a young shinobi.

His father had been the legendary Yellow Flash of Konoha, Minato Namikaze. A rare once in a generation genius, many often said when speaking about him. He was a student to one of the three legendary Sannin. He had created the powerful Rasengan, the amazing Flying Thunder God technique, sealed the monstrous Kyuubi and sensei to his sensei, Kakashi Hatake.

His sensei was the famous Copy Ninja, a genius prodigy amongst his own generation, Kakashi Hatake. True to his name, he was able to copy almost any technique known with his Sharingan, the number well over a thousand. He had been one of the few powerful enough to be in the ANBU Ops and mastered many elemental techniques.

His temporary Captain had been Yamatou, a brilliant ANBU member and one of two sole individuals to possess the Wood Element and all it's techniques. He learned many of the First and Second Hokage's techniques and was able to use them with amazing skill.

His teammates were the stuff of legends themselves.

Sakura Haruno was an amazing medical ninja, said to surpass even the Legendary Sannin Tsunade herself. She had amazing strength, brilliant intelligence and wonderful chakra control. She was able to accurate pick up on many genjutsu that even masters had no idea they were placed under and heal even the most fatalistic of injuries.

Sasuke Uchiha had been a the last heir to the legendary Uchiha Clan. He was a powerful wielder of the Sharingan and Magenkyo Sharingan, a brilliant fire elemental user and had amazing grasp of lightning techniques. He fought hard to destroy his hated elder brother and finally did reclaim his vengeance. Afterwards he had ultimately came back to Konoha and refounded the Military Police as his family had many years ago, putting to bed lingering ghosts.

Sai had been one hell of an artist, a former ROOT shinobi, a part of the ANBU Ops and a rather good brother to have. He had created a rather unique ink and image based jutsu known as the Super Beasts Imitation. He had drawn well over a thousand pictures, each one more interesting then the last and amazingly useful in battle.

His best friend had been Sabaku no Gaara, the Fifth Kazekage and previous jinchuuriki of the One-Tailed Demon known as Shukaku. He was the only one to out survive the demon he had once played host to. He had absolute control over sand manipulation, as well as glass in his later years, and like Naruto himself, put his precious people above all else.

Naruto himself was a legend in his own right. Host to the Kyuubi, a trained Sage, wielder of the Shadow Clones and Rasengan, creator of the Oiroke no Jutsu, Seventh Hokage and the very last holder of the Toad Contract.

They were all individuals of legends and, as time went on, many myths. Myths and legends, of power not seen in many, many centuries. Myths and legends that only Naruto knew to the fullest extent.

Some said that shinobi no longer existed, only to later that night see a gigantic toad before their very eyes. Some said that there was no way any girls could of been as strong as the myths did go, only to find a crater full of cherry blossoms in their backyard the next morning.

Somedays, when the pranks were done and over with and all there was was silence and a calm breeze, Naruto felt quite sad being the last one alive, cursed with the Kyuubi's immortality. Then again, he always had their stories to keep him company, kept alive in his words, the excited eyes of the kids he told them to and the neon orange painted spirals on the nearest historical monument.

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I think my brain nearly exploded on this one. I was tempted to write about all of his friends and amazing ninjas of awesome, but then my brain really would of exploded and boom! No more stories! Can't have that, now can we?

Thank you for reading and please note that all reviews are highly appreciated!


	14. Nine

**Title:** Nine**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto, Kyuubi and various others in passing.**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. This story belongs to me.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13, for safety's sake. A whole lotta AUish-ness going on here!**  
Dedication:** For those who like coincidences and making something out of them.**  
Summary:** _Naruto believes himself to being stalked by a number._

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Like some sort of cosmic slap in the face by Fate, Naruto found himself constantly surrounded by "nines" everywhere he went. Was it even _possible_ to be stalked by a number? The blonde shinobi certainly thought so. He had a whole list compiled of those thoughts.

First and foremost was the immortal Nine-Tailed Crazed Fox demon sealed within his body and soul since a mere few hours after his birth. The damn thing liked to taunt him more often the not and had been the bane of his existence for so very long. As a child he was unable to walk much more than two steps through-out Konoha without suffering from the Kyuubi's words or actions in the form of the demon itself or those who feared it.

Keeping the origin of the number in mind, it really came as no surprise, at least when he really thought about it, that his given apartment carried the equation that eventually equaled out to the sum of nine; one, two, six.

As he grew older and was finally excepted into the academy, Naruto was sorted into the ninth class of his year, another fact that shouldn't of surprised him. What did surprise him, upon a further lazy-day reflection, was that he was assigned to the ninth seat in the ninth row from the right.

A hand full of all too fast years later and Naruto found himself in the company of the rest of the Rookie Nine, where he completed a total of nine missions all above his most hated D Rank level of pulling weeds. If he gave it more notice, and really his head hurt too much whenever he remembered those times, he'd notice how those damn D Rank missions always lasted no more than nine minutes before Sakura hit him upside the head for his stupidity.

After Sasuke's betrayal and deflection, it had taken him exactly nine pranks to get Jiraiya to stop first seeking an onsen before passing on some key parts of his great teachings. Eventually, once that great tutelage began, it took Naruto exactly ninety-nine tadpole-esque summonings before being able to correctly summon a toad.

When the two finally made their way back to Konoha, after three long years - three being one of the multiples for nine, Naruto had noted once he began to realize the patterns -, it took only nine minutes before he ran into Sakura and Konohamaru and nine minutes before Sakura's fist connected with his skull.

Ninety-minutes was all it took for him to reconnect with all of his old friends after another round of Kakashi's bell test. Nine seconds to realize his admiration for the girl with blue hair that stood by his side during the invasion of Konoha. Nine flowers given to him by Konan.

Many more nines through-out the next nine years, Naruto was finally able to defeat Sasuke - nine years too long, in his opinion - and nine months longer for him to come to terms with the fact that his admiration for Hinata was much more than that.

Most would call all of that a bunch of mere coincidences, citing that numerical patterns occurred wherever one looked, if they only looked hard enough. Naruto, however, wasn't giving up on that whole stalker theory. Crazier things had happened and, after all, his daughter was finally being born today, the ninth day of the ninth month after nine, very _long_, very exciting months.

If only all the nines in his life would continue to be this wonderful.

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I had this one allll planned out, top to bottom, full of notes and then totally disregarded the entire outline. This bodes _so well _for my upcoming essays.

Anyways. Yeah. Heh, Hope you enjoyed the read, thank you for doing such and please feel free to review!


	15. Option

**Title:** Option**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and...Naruto?**  
Disclaimer:** Kishimoto created and owns Naruto.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13, just to be safe.**  
Dedication:** Fans of the Shadow Clones! Any Shadow Clone!**  
Summary:** _Naruto can't believe he has to deal with this shit._

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"But why do we have to do this?",familiar voice whined, aiming a pout at Naruto. Familiar because it was his own. Only much more whiny than the norm, enough to give the blonde shinobi a headache. Several grunts of agreement littered the air about him as more displeased voices rose up in defiance.

"It's boring!"

"Dull!"

"_Super_ dull!"

"_Extremely_ dull!"

"Totally not shinobi-like, at all!"

"Un-shinobi-like dull!"

"Enough with the dull, idiot!"

"Enough with _you_, idiot!"

A slight woosh sound filled the air and Naruto felt a small buzz in the back of his mind. As the buzz edged away into nothingness, he began to recall memories he himself had never made. Despite the absence of one of their own, the other's still kept up voicing their opinions strong.

"We're super stealthy, high rankin' shinobi! Give us something better than this to do!"

"Yeah! Anything but this!"

"Anything! We can take it!"

"Pleaseeeee?!"

"Come on! You know this sucks! That's why you want to make us do it!"

"No more! No more!"

More and more voices echoed those and similar thoughts in chorus. They were displeased at the task that had been set before them and were more then happy enough to complain until they were able to either get out of their task master's watchful eye or given another, much more cool, duty.

Naruto did not find this amusing.

"When I call you out for a job,_ it isn't an option_!",he ground out, glaring at his many duplicates who scattered the practice field. Honestly, it wasn't even a _hard_ job. Sure, it may of been a little boring but he - all of himself, clones included - had done work like this before. Besides, the Narutos - he included - were the ones who totally decimated Training Ground Forty-two, so they were the one's who had to clean it up.

There was also that little issue of his missing poison tipped kunai and a very irritable Sakura-chan, back at the hospital, who had threatened several of his more manly parts with separation if another genin was found to be injured with his trademark toxins.

He visibly shuddered at the thought of being on the wrong end of Sakura Haruno and a scalpel. This was a mistake, on his part.

The shadow clones took in the shudder then quickly shared a glance amongst themselves before reaching a decision.

"Mutiny! Mutiny! Mutiny!",all one-hundred of the copies began to chant, shaking their fists for emphasis. They were wearing him down!

Naruto winced, suppressing another shudder, as he held his head in his hands. He had a feeling that no one else had this problem with their own selves.

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Ho-hum! I was originally going to use the word _"original"_ for this drabble, but _"option" _seemed to fit so much better.

Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to review!


	16. Plead

**Title:** Plead**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and Sasuke, with passing mentions of others. Naruto and Sasuke as a paring.**  
Disclaimer:** Kishimoto created and owns Naruto, Sasuke and all else of the series.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13, for situations, implied situations, language and the possible abuse of standard shinobi gear.**  
Dedication:** Fans of SasuNaru. You're welcome.**  
Summary:** _Naruto is quite the stubborn shinobi._

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Many things have been said about Naruto Uzumaki. That he was a brat, a demon, a demonic brat, a thief, a dead last of a ninja, a worthless genin, a pervert, a perverter of jutsu - he still isn't sure how entirely that one is possible as, _excuse me princess_, but it frickin' worked,_ thanks_! -, a worthless excuse for a ninja in general, a thief ninja - he would like to inform all accusers of this that they're just called _thieves_ and he is not one, okay?! - and such other things that follow amongst the same line. None of them are true, however, but that doesn't stop people from calling him as such.

What people have not called him, however, is _"determined"_. Usually, Naruto believes always, it comes out as _"too damn frickin' stubborn for your own frickin' good!"_. But it means the same thing and has never been said without good, merited reasoning.

"Please?",came what was probably the nineteenth request in the last five minutes from the blonde knuckle-headed ninja.

"No."

"Pleaasseeee?!"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

_"No."_

"Pretty please with sugar on top and the newest release of Icha Icha?!"

"_No_ and _no _to all variations of the request."

"Dammit, Sauske! You suck!",the blonde pouted, falling out of the tree and onto his quite annoyed black haired boyfriend.

Said boyfriend merely scooted to the right, letting his lover's head fall to the ground, and turned the page of the book that had so successfully captured his attention for the past hour and a half. "Again, no."

"Argh!",Naruto whined. How dare his boyfriend act so calm! He wasn't asking for much, anyway. Just for some time. Alone. In the nearest closet at the ANBU headquarters. Really, it wasn't like there was some sort of rule or something against it! Sai could be caught - well, that wasn't exactly the truth since the emotionless ninja never really hid his actions - coming out of any and every supply closet on any given day. Hell! Both of them had caught Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei just last week! It was no big deal, so why was Sasuke being such a bastard about it?!

He made a slight whining noise, which received no acknowledgement as the Uchiha once again calmly turned another page. With a sigh, Naruto rolled over on his stomach, propped himself with both arms, resting his head in both arms and put forth his best pouting face. Time to switch to some grade A guilt trip tactics, then. "But whhhhyyyy?"

"I don't need a reason."

"Bullshit!"

"Truth."

"Then humour me and give me a damn reason!",Naruto demanded, pounding his fist onto the ground in annoyance. Seeing no response to the early symptoms of a temper tantrum, he relaxed back to the main guilt trip techniques. Naruto Uzumaki began to whimper.

"Don't... Well, don't I deserve a reason?",he sniffed, crocodile tears ready, willing and able to begin at a moment's notice.

Sasuke winced, freezing in his attempt to turn yet another page in that_ oh-so-intriguing _book of his. Naruto made a mental note to burn it later.

"Naruto...",Sasuke began, his voice laced with a warning tone.

The blonde sniffled again.

Sasuke cringed. "Naruto, I mean it."

A tear escaped.

"Naruto!"

The blonde's head fell into his hands as muffled sobs began to drift through the previously serene surrounding forest.

The black haired shinobi let out a strangled groan before placing the book down. He edged over to his boyfriend's side and begun to rub comforting circles in the other's back, like the well trained boyfriend he was.

"Yes, you deserve an answer. No, I'm not going to tell you why. Yes, I love you--",he ticked off each reply only to be interrupted by a response of racking sobs, each one growing more severe by the passing second.

Several minutes passed by as the sobs would decrease and then increase once more whenever Sasuke's hand seemed ready to withdraw it's presence. The Uchiha had started to become a bit annoyed, but the increased cries weighed him over with guilt.

"P-please just tell me! I-I n-_need_ to kn-know!",the blonde cried out softly, deeply affecting the other shinobi. As Sasuke grimaced upon hearing his boyfriend's wavering voice Naruto stole a quick look, taking in his boyfriend's appearance. Slightly mussed hair, left hand clinched in stress, possibly frustration. Only a bit longer and Naruto would have him!

It took another few minutes - minutes in which Naruto was almost ready to hand over the Most Stubborn Shinobi Award to the Uchiha - before a response was given. At least, Naruto thought it was a response. He still hadn't become completely fluent in the language of the Grumbling Uchiha's.

Keeping up his distraught mask, the blonde looked up with watery eyes. "Wh-wha?",he sniffled. The back rubs stopped. Possibly a good sign.

"Th' closets have spiders.",Sasuke stated a bit louder, turning his head in the other direction.

"Oh-- Wait,_ what_?",Naruto asked, sitting up. His tears had miraculously disappeared. He could not of heard that right! What did spiders in the closets have to do with anything?!

Sasuke let out a somewhat strangled groan. "I. Hate. Spiders.",he ground out, turning his back to the other shinobi.

The blonde blinked, still not believing his ears. Bad sign, bad sign! "Okay, so like, shinobi summoning spiders or real ones?"

The Uchiha grunted. He lowered his head and mumbled another response. "All spiders."

"Oh."

Silence once again enveloped the surrounding forest, though not as previously tranquil, as neither man knew quite how to go on. Sasuke couldn't believe he was admitting such a thing and Naruto, well, Naruto was Naruto. And Naruto didn't stay silent nor still for long.

"So, you're telling me that you won't _screw me _in a _supply closet _because of_ frickin' spiders_?!",Naruto shrieked, moving to stand in front of his lover. Dammit, he was admitting that crap to his face!

"I. _Hate. _Spiders."

"Yeah, but you. _Love._ Me."

"Hate. Spiders."

"Sex! In! Closet!"

"No."

"Please?!"

"Naruto, no!"

"Yes! Please?!"

"Drop it!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Sex!"

"No!"

"Dammit, Sasuke!",he whined, feeling his grip loosen on the argument. He was going to win this and that was that, dammit!

"Look.",he began with a sigh. "We'll keep the lights on or something."

His lover such grunted another wordless reply. At least it wasn't a no.

"The one by the stairs just got some new kunai proof wire in it. It'll be kinky or some shit like that."

"No spiders?"

"Think about this carefully. Spiders or kinky sex with a hot blonde?"

"What if the two mix?"

"Fuck it! Then you can be on top! Happy?!",Naruto snapped.

Sasuke paused. Tilted his head to the side in thought. "Yeah?"

"Yes!"

"Alright."

"Fucking finally! I can't believe you took this damn long to agree. What the fuck kind of shinobi says no to closet-sex?! I mean, seriously, Sasuke! What the hell?!",he began to rant, oblivious to the fact that he had just gotten his way. "You're worse than my Shikamaru! Do you know how hard it was to convince him to have sex? Dammit! He would fall asleep eating dinner and he _needed_ food to _live_! Fucking hell!"

"Naruto."

"God, you're worse than Neji, too! Do you know how many fucking noble-clan dumbass rules he had for our relationship?! I mean really, at least he'd screw a guy in a closet, permitted it was in between the hours of seven to nine, but still! And don't even get me started on Kiba..."

"Naruto!"

"What?!",the blonde shinobi snapped. He had been working up a pretty good rant there after Sasuke had said... _Wait. _Did he win? Sasuke had said yes? So, that meant...

"Closet-sex now?"

"Hell, yes!"

Hours later, it was a severely stunned bunch of new ANBU recruits that had to be wheeled into the hospital for an emergency diagnosis. Noting the singed hair and uniforms, Commanding Medial Shinobi, Sakura Haruno, could only sigh and dictate another request for her assistant to submit for someone to fix the stupid locks on the closets at the ANBU headquarters again.

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Hell's bells and cottontails! This was long. I can't believe how it just sprung forth from my fingers to the screen. _Damn! _

Erm, huh. I take no responsibility for broken brains. Heck, I could've of put Ebisu somewhere in there! So there!

The above being said, thanks for another read and please feel free to review! The reviews substain me for another chapter or so. Omnomnom!


	17. Quints

**Title:** Quints**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and Hinata. Passing mention of Sakura and a few others.**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto and Hinata belong to Kishimoto. The story is of my own mind.**  
Rating/Warnings:** K+ or PG at most, in my opinon.**  
Dedication:** Naruto and Hinata fans. I've neglected the paring for five chapters and I am sorry.**  
Summary:** _Naruto and Hinata are going to be parents._ Follow up to Chapter 11: Kiss.

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The Kyuubi in him was estatic. The regular old shinobi within him was scared witless.

Quints. They were having quints._ Five _babies at _once_. The idea of one baby terrified and excited him senseless. The idea of five was followed by neon lights and the words_ "DANGER! DANGER! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! DANGER! DANGER! IT'S DANGEROUS TO TREAD ANY FURTHER, IDIOT!"._

The only thing that could distract him from those warning lights was his beaming wife on the other side of the breakfast table. Hinata was positively glowing! Naruto had heard other's mention that pregnant women seemed somehow more beautiful, but that seemed like a severe overstatement at the moment. He had already seen her as a Goddess before the pregnancy. Now that she was pregnant it was, well, it was like she was a Supreme Goddess or something of the likes!

Her hair was shinier, much more silky. Her skin was still it's same pale tone, but now it glowed! And her eyes! Damn, just one second's glance into her eyes and Naruto was ready to do any and everything for her.

"Naruto?",Hinata asked, bringing the blonde father-to-be back down to earth.

"Hmm?",he asked, suddenly remembering that they were eating breakfast and his was getting cold. The idea that in the coming months she would probably be eating more than him entered his mind briefly and amused the love-stricken shinobi a great deal.

Hinata paused as she tried to gather her thoughts a bit more. Her eyes quirking upwards as her head cocked to the side. She set her chopsticks down and put a finger to her lips, deep in thought.

Seeing his wife in such a state concerned Naruto. He was pretty sure she didn't have any bad news, as she wasn't frowning, but he was also pretty sure it was still entirely possible to get the ultrasound wrong and they'd be greeting six newborns come this December. He wasn't sure if his mind could take that last thought.

"Who do you think our children will take after?",she finally asked, her voice ever serene and a happy smile plastered upon her face.

Naruto blinked. Glanced down at his breakfast, back to his wife, to the family picture in the living room - the one with her father, sister, Neji, Jiraiya, Tsunade and the couple - upon their mantle and back to his wife.

"God, I hope it's you.",he blurted out, a new fear suddenly entering his mind. Strong, calm, independant, healthy quints he could handle. Hyperactive, loud, annoying little quintuple brats with attitudes like he himself had been would not bode well for the future of Konoha. Or his nerves.

Hinata merely laughed at his reply. "Neji-nii-san said the same!",she noted, completely amused.

For a second, Naruto changed his mind.

"Ne, Hinata?"

"Hai?"

"Let's list Neji as the main babysitter."

"I already did.",she stated, a slight smirk upon her face and a twinkle in her eye. His mind reeled back to a few months ago when Sakura had claimed that he had completely corrupted his innocent, young wife. She had said that he must of done something completely horrible because Hinata was so much more devious than she had been before the two became married. He hadn't thought much of her complaints or the good natured ribbing that Kiba had given to him following such, but now...

Naruto made a mental note to listen to what Sakura said more often, because suddenly quints didn't seem so scary.

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It's of my firm belief that Hinata could be so much more devious than people give her credit for. So _very_ much more.

Thank you for reading and please review, if you have a spare moment!


	18. Run

**Title:** Run**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and a Hyuuga who shall remain nameless till the end, because I'm evil like that. Passing mention of Sakura and Sasuke as a couple.**  
Disclaimer:** The series of Naruto, and all within it, belong to Kishimoto.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13 for language and violent situations.**  
Dedication:** Those who like their Naruto with a little bit of Neji in it. Innuendo perfectly implied.**  
Summary:** _Naruto couldn't recall a time when he had ever ran so fast, or hard, before_.

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Naruto could feel his lungs screaming in pain.

In all his time as a shinobi, he had never known himself to run this fast, for this long before! Heck, he had never even ran this fast as an Academy Student! He had played countless pranks upon the entire village, and never ran this fast.

Granted, back then, he could of just ran about for a few minutes, find a sufficient hiding spot - sometimes out of the way, sometimes in plain sight, all depending upon who was chasing him - and stay there till he either got bored or his pursuers wore themselves out. Out of sight, out of mind after all.

Foot steps, two sets, echoed off the walls of the alley he was currently running through. Damn, his shadow was catching up to him! Naruto kept up his silent cursing streak as he continued running. Oh, how he wished his pursuer would wear themselves out this time, too! Unfortunately, all of his wishes fell upon cosmically deaf ears as no higher being answered his prayers.

In a moment of brief inspiration - from all those childhood memories, no doubt - Naruto jumped several tens of feet into the air and ran across the roof tops of the village. Maybe out of sight, out of mind would work once again.

The sound of kunai whistled through the air. One landed a slug's crawl from his foot and another a sick frog's hop from his torso, imbedded onto the wall behind him.

Out of sight, out of mind, his _ass_! How could you keep from the sight of an individual who could see nearly three-hundred and sixty degrees?!

Running harder than ever before, Naruto wormed his way through the electric wires that lead up to the Hokage Tower and dove through a window into the safety of his office, putting up every single ward and security trap he could think of. Finally, his chakra exhausted, he slouched into his chair and attempted to control his breathing. He momentarily wished he hadn't of used up all of the sake hidden in his desk drawer yesterday when his two former teammates, Sakura and Sasuke, told him of their engagement.

The sudden pressure and cooling sensation of a blade to his throat immediately threw him from his little thought bubble before two hands actually threw him out of his chair and onto the ground. Before Naruto even knew what was happening, he was pinned. Not just by another body, but by two glowing pale lavender eyes, as well.

"N-neji!",he wheezed, utterly surprised that his future in-law had finally caught up with him. Dammit, trust one of his most trusted advisors to know how to break through his damn seals!

The familiar pressure of a cool blade was once again against his neck, as the Hyuuga ANBU's eyes narrowed into slits as he leaned closer to the blond Hokage's face.

"Do anything to hurt her and_ I will end you_.",Neji hissed. "Is that clear?"

Naruto attempted to nod, but as the pressure of the blade intensified he rapidly switched tactics. "Y-yes.",he murmured, for the first time ever now afraid of talking aloud. At his affirmation, the blade was retracted and quickly hidden away.

"Good.",Neji nodded, satisfied with the answer. His glare mildly softened and he turned away, heading to the door. "Good luck with Hanabi. She's on her way here."

As the door clicked shut, Naruto immediately jumped up and called for one of his assistants. It seemed that an emergency trip in effort to better the relationship between Konoha and Suna was in order.

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I'm absolutely thrilled with this one! -dance- Hope you have enjoyed it too!

Thanks for reading and please feel free to review.


	19. Smile

**Title:** Smile**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto, with passing mentions of Hinata, an unnamed child, various Hyuuga cousins and unnamed ANBU members.**  
Disclaimer:** The series of Naruto, and all within it, belong to Kishimoto and certainly not me.**  
Rating/Warnings:** PG to K+. Beware the adorable Uzumaki spawn!**  
Dedication/Notes:** Here's to those who like the idea of Naruto x Hinata spawn!**  
Summary:** _Naruto couldn't be happier nor smile any wider._

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Naruto smiled. A look of absolute pride crossed his features and it was there to stay.

He was sure that the ANBU guard detail near by were unnerved by it, but if he had any care at all for their feelings upon his facial expressions then that was quickly deminished. After all, it wasn't every day that a three year old child, _his_ three year old child, learned an S Class, Kage Level technique.

On second thought, maybe it was the fact that his three year old daughter knew a Kage level technique that unnerved them. Oh well. They would just have to get used to it. Especially since several of Hinata's cousins were already coming to terms with the Rasengan's more destructive properties.

Er, _destruction of property_, mind you. That was made glaringly obvious by the fact that the main gate to the Hyuuga Compound was not only knocked off it's henges, but twisted and churned and just plain _warped_ in ways that it had not been a mere five minutes ago.

Okay, these facts would have undoubtedly unnerved and down right shocked many people - fearsome, tough, iron willed ANBU included - but his daugther of three years had just learned the _Ra-sen-gan_! Naruto couldn't be happier nor smile any wider.

The fact that he had eternal bragging rights of one-uppance against Sasuke-teme never even crossed his mind. At all. Really. Scout's honour.

Naruto wasn't a scout.

As he continued to beam at the sight of his daughter - who was happily dancing in celebration of her _"Awesome! Just like Daddy!" _accomplishment - Naruto spared a brief thought towards his wife and and hoped that, deep down, Hinata had really disliked the main gate and thought it unbelievably tacky. It was turning out to be such a great day that it would really be horrible to end it by sleeping on the couch.

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Hee! This has been in my notebook for a while and I'm so happy to finally have a prompt it matched up to!

Hope you've enjoyed the read! Please feel free to review as it feeds this poor little writer with yummy, love-filled nourishment.


	20. Theory

**Title:** Theory**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto and Shikamaru**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto, Shikamaru and the series in which both come from belong to Kishimoto**  
Rating/Warnings:** PG to K+. Beware of Naruto's more mischievous side.**  
Dedication/Notes:** Those who like Chibi Naruto and the trouble he gets in!**  
Summary:** _Naruto has a theory for class, and it needs to be tested._

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"It's a theory, Naruto",sighed Shikamaru. "It needs to be tested before it can be confirmed."

Naruto blinked. He had heard every word that came out that the lazy student before him spoke, but that didn't mean he understood it all. Setting down his pen, Naruto turned to the other boy with a rather confused look on his face.

"Say it again.",he asked, wondering - and not for the first time, mind you - why he, out of the entire class, had to pair up with the lazy genius. Sure, Shikamaru was intelligent, but he was also the biggest slacker in the entire class. Considering himself and his classmates, Naruto felt that that was saying something rather big.

So far, Naruto had been doing all the writing and coming up with every single one of the ideas while his partner just lay there, staring up at the clouds and shooting down every single point he spoke of.

Shikamaru sighed once more, attempting a different direction. One that didn't involve much work on his part, of course. "If it can't be done, then it isn't true.",he grumbled, shielding his eyes as the sun dared to peek on through the clouds above.

"Oh.",Naruto leaned back and pondered on this new information. That was a problem.

Or was it?

Maneuvering himself into a kneeling position, Naruto leaned across the patch of grass both boys had claimed and hovered a few inches above Shikamaru's lazy form. He was grinning. His eyes were gleaming. These were both bad signs.

"Hey, Shikamaru?"

"Hm--Ngh!"

Two minutes and one bruised cheek later, Naruto laughed to himself and began to write;

_"__How To Stun An Enemy Ninja In One Easy Step__"_

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He's gonna get an A, I can just feel it! -snicker- Either that or Iruka's going to have a lot of explaining to do to some rather confused kids.

Hope you enjoyed the newest installment! Feel free to review!


	21. Umber

**Title:** Umber**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto and the series in which he comes from belong to Kishimoto**  
Rating/Warnings:** PG to K+. Nothing bad, nothing to warn for.**  
Dedication/Notes:** Here's to the ones who like it where Naruto leaves Konohagakure and actually get's a good hand dealt to him.**  
Summary:** _Naruto looks into a pair of strange, reddish-brown eyes._

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He blinked in surprise at the face staring back at him. A shinobi his height, one with mocha locks and burning chocolate eyes, stared at him with an unnerving focus.

Naruto cautiously raised one of his arms and the shinobi in front of him did the same. He then took a step back and, again, the action was mimicked. A step forward saw the same results, as did a hop to the left and an impromptu hand stand.

With a sigh, Naruto fell back into a sitting position - which was once again mirrored by the brown haired shinobi across from him - and dipped his head forward in thought. It was certainly a unique look for a shinobi. At least, for the most part. The clothes the other wore were quite basic, hard to distinguish as shinobi gear or that of a civilian worker. However, his skin set him up as a foreigner. He was tanned to an exotic extent, one that no one of Konohagakure could of ever claimed to sport.

But, would it truly work?

The shinobi in front of Naruto beamed back at him and morphed his fingers into a thumbs up, not unlike Gai-sensei's flamboyant signature pose.

"Please don't do that.",Naruto groaned, burying his face into his hands. The memories were just too painful.

The brown haired shinobi chuckled a bit in response, "Eheh, sorry boss!" With a soft _"Woosh!" _of air the clone burst out of sight, leaving Naruto Uzumaki alone in the calm, moonlit forest. Well, it may not truly work, but it would have to do. That left the young shinobi with just one more thing to do.

Standing up, Naruto quickly changed his appearance to that matching the foreign looking shinobi who had kept him company for the past half hour. He then carefully untied his headband - the same one he had earned by beating up that traitor, Mizuki-sensei - and placed it at the base of the Memorial Stone.

As a Genin, he had always thought that throwing away any and all ties to his beloved village of Konoha would kill him. As a Chuunin, one thrown away by the village he had nearly given his life to protect, it killed him more to see that all those ties never really mattered. They had no more cared for Naruto Uzumaki then they would this strange, brown haired shinobi with no name.

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Spur of the moment drabble is random and odd.

Thank you for reading!


	22. Vapid

**Title:** Vapid**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto, with mentions of Ino. Naruto x Ino as a paring.**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto and the series in which he comes from belong to Kishimoto**  
Rating/Warnings:** PG to K+. Nothing bad, but quite angsty/sad.**  
Dedication/Notes:** As I said above, it's rather dark.**  
Summary:** _Naruto has lost an important part of himself._

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Naruto stared blankly ahead, not even blinking once as the rain continued to fall. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, muffled by countless memories, he found it oddly significant that it was raining on this day of all days. It had been painfully clear yesterday and the weather was supposed to be clear tomorrow, too.

Sunlight just didn't seem right, at the moment. Nothing bright did, if he was to be honest. Bright meant okay, bright meant happy. Neither of those words could be used to describe how he felt. His soul had been torn apart. So badly so, that if one was to stab him that muffled little voice in the back of his head was sure his blood would seep black. A once crimson vitality, assuring him of his life, mixed with the fragments of what had been him.

More rain fell and the day began to slip away, heading off to sleep as he should of. Yet still, he couldn't. Sleep didn't seem all together right either. Sleep meant dreams, sleep meant nightmares. Dreaming of what he once had and nightmares taunting him with what he didn't, only to wake up to a cold bed in an even colder room. It wasn't right. Nothing was right anymore.

The street lights began to flicker on, providing some dim light to the drizzling darkness. With the first audible sigh he had breathed in days, Naruto ran a hand through his hair and knelt down to the ground. He was on eye level with the stone who had his love's name permanently engraved upon it. The stone who forever told that she wasn't coming back. Ever.

Hesitantly, he reached a hand forward, almost afraid. If he touched it, it was real. If it was real, she was truly gone. If she was gone, he had no reason to stay.

Wet, ice cold granite scraped lightly against his calloused finger tips. It was real. She was gone. He was lost. Silent sobs wracked his body as tears rolled down his cheeks, mixing with the cries of the heavens. No longer would he hear her laughter. No longer would he feel her touch. No longer would he hold her close, whispering words of passion and lust.

Naruto leaned forward, gripping the top of the headstone with one hand as another traced the carved words it so painfully proclaimed;

**Ino Yamanaka**_**  
Beloved wife, daughter and friend.**_

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I apologize for uploading yet another angst and pained Naruto drabble. Seeing as we're incredibly close to the end of this little series, I'll try to upload the rest as happier ones. If you have any suggestions for parings you want to see Naruto with, now is your time to speak up!

Thank you for reading and please feel free to review!


	23. Work

**Title:** Work**  
Series: **Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Naruto, with mentions of various others.**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto, the series and character, belong to Kishimoto.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13 for language and suggestive situations.**  
Dedication/Notes:** Dedicated to those who like their Naruto with a good helping of humour.**  
Summary:** _Naruto knows the term 'workaholic' quite well._

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Workaholic. It was term that Naruto was intimately familiar with. Sure, it didn't fit him exactly, but it fit a lot of people he knew.

Jiraya, his godfather, was a workaholic. Or, at least, that was the nice term for it. He could also be called a pervert, a super pervert, an idiot, a perverted idiot and a super perverted idiot. Tsunade-baachan had used several other creative terms to describe Jiraya, but as Naruto now had a daughter, he didn't dare repeat them. He had never pissed Hinata off before, and wasn't about to yet.

Sakura, his teammate, was a workaholic. She was dedicated to her job as a medical kunoichi, always doing her best and saving so many lives that would be lost without her experience at hand to heal them. In fact, at one time she had been such a workaholic that an intervention had been staged by Sai to stop her and get the poor girl to take a break for once.

Speaking of Sai, he was a workaholic, too, but his obsession with working only surfaced whenever Sakura agreed to be a model for him and then neither of his teammates would come out of their apartment for nearly a week.

There were many other workaholics that Naruto knew of. The Workaholics of Konoha list could span on for the entire length of the village and then some. Being intimately familiar with the term, and potential creator of said list, Naruto was sure that at the top of the list was the name of his secretary. The same slave driving secretary he could hear just outside his office.

"Hokage-sama, more forms for you to fill out!",came a voice as his door opened, without a knock. "You also have an appointment in the next hour with the Mizukage and --- Naruto-sama! You haven't filled out any of the forms I gave you this morning! Are you _trying_ to completely ignore your duties and let this village crumble down about your ears?!"

"Good morning to you, too, Mikki-chan.",Naruto snorted, leaning back further in his seat as he glanced up at the ceiling. "I thought that the Mizukage wasn't due until Wednesday."

"It _is_ Wednesday!",Mikki shrieked, her face turning a colour previously dubbed as "Iruka-sensei Red".

"Oh."

"Oh? _Oh?! _Naruto-sama!",his secretary began, going off into lecture mode as only a true workaholic could. With a sigh, Naruto briefly wondered if it was his name at the bottom of the Workaholics of Konoha list or his Chief Advisor, Shikamaru.

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Hey, did anyone catch the tie in with Chapter 6 of The ABCs of Sakura Haruno? Ten bowls of virtual ramen to whoever did! Your choice of flavour, of course.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to review.


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